Try Hard
I started January 1st with a very specific goal. My plan was to go into the gym and crush the project I’d been working on. It would be a new bouldering grade for me, and finishing it seemed like the perfect way to start the new year. But when I got to the gym and looked at…
Fear of Falling or of Failing?
For the most part, I’m not afraid of falling when I climb. Though Joshua Tree showed me that my outdoor bouldering head needs some work, in the gym, I don’t feel much fear. Of falling, at least. But I feel a lot of fear of failing. And in climbing, falling sure looks like failing. But what…
Some Days You Will Just Suck
Some days you will fail on your project, even though you’d been making progress. Some days you will fall off problems that you know are well within your ability. Some days everything will be hard. It’s easy to get in your head and blame yourself on the days when you suck. But it’s not your…
An Oasis of Climbing in Joshua Tree
Driving into Joshua Tree National Park is like crossing the threshold into another world – and into a place of world-class climbing. From trad towers to chalked-up boulders, you can find something to climb everywhere you look. Nestled amongst the rocks are plants and trees that are determined to thrive in this unforgiving desert. But could…
Love Doesn’t Give Up
The air felt heavy on Wednesday as I walked to the climbing gym. My feet moved forward, while my mind spun. I attempted to climb, because that is what usually helps me when things are hard, but it didn’t work this time. I lay on the mats, filled with sadness and fear. Thinking that maybe I…
Tango Lessons from an Icelandic Tugboat Captain
Have you ever met a stranger who spoke your truth to you right when you needed to hear it the most? As so many of my stories start, a girl walked into a bar. In Iceland. I was in the country to celebrate my 35th birthday. Iceland had been my dream destination for years, and,…
Climb Like a Girl
“Come on, you can do it! You got this!” The chorus of encouragement came from a group of awesome women sitting on the bouldering mats at BKB Somerville. Their shouts pushed me to make the move that I might have bailed on, saying “I can’t,” if I had been bouldering by myself. It’s always an…
Becoming a Badass
This year, my only New Year’s resolution was to be a badass. I didn’t really know what that would mean when I made the resolution, but I knew it was important. I had a vague notion of wanting to be more confident and try things outside of my comfort zone. Turns out I had no idea…
Focusing my Superpower
I see like a camera sees. Which means I don’t see how other people see. For a long time, I thought this was a disadvantage. I was born cross-eyed. Though I had three surgeries when I was young to correct it cosmetically, my brain never figured out how to fuse the separate images from my…
I Can’t
I can’t. Yes, you can. This was the exchange that went back and forth between my belayer and me. And that often goes on in my head. Most of the time, I feel fearless. I’m not scared of heights, spiders, clowns or any of the subjects of the most common phobias. Sometimes, I even think…